Give A Fuck About A Lifestyle

Give A Fuck About A Lifestyle

AKA: Don't call it a lifestyle; I've been here for years.

 

I decided to write this because I find it silly that cis people consider what transsexuals do to align their minds and bodies a 'lifestyle,' not a life CHOICE. The difference between them is that, at least for me, it's not a 'lifestyle', that is, the way a person lives their life. It's about being honest with one's self about their identity. There's mounting evidence to suggest physiological factors for gender identities that vary from those assigned at birth based solely on genitalia - which, if you think about it, would come off as arbitrary if it weren't appropriate MOST (but certainly not all) of the time.

And that's saying nothing of those who are intersexed or expected to conform to a gender stereotype from birth - EVEN IF THEY AREN'T TRANS. A few weeks back, there was a post on Facebook by a woman who was getting chastised for letting her son take photos with a Disneyland Princess (I don't recall which one - and no, it wasn't Elsa). Over the course of a couple of days, there were literally HUNDREDS of other moms in support of the OP. My inner cheerleader went wild!

That said, my gender identity is female, not 'trans'. I'm there legally and socially, most of the way there physically, and would complete the transition provided the opportunity. Some people identify their gender as trans and don't make any physical changes. For me, that would be a nitemare as I see my 'sexuality' as nothing more than a correctable medical condition. It's simply one of my traits; it's not who I am, and my transition has affected my life in so many positive ways over the years, the most important being that I now no longer have to live in the cell of an entirely fake and contrived male identity.

The only choice I made was to be honest with myself about who I am, what I like, and what I'm about. It was not 'to be trans'. I think the issue a lot of people have with trans people is naturally partly based on ignorance and gender bias, but a lot of it also has to do with control. When we decide to be our authentic selves, we take our fates into our own hands and away from those who would seek to control us or even simply maintain the status quo to their advantage.

The fact is that people who do what I did are resented by many (most often those closest to us) for being 'selfish' for changing, when in fact it has always been they who were selfish by expecting us to be what we are not. This means that we may no longer be predictable, and will no longer be controlled... and people who perceive themselves as powerful REALLY HATE the 'threat' that we represent.

My parents knew something was different about me from the moment I was born. They thought I was gay. I wasn't; I was attracted to women, although I'm now bisexual. It took 26 years, the internet, and a needlessly high-pressure situation for me to finally say 'fuck it' and explore my true identity. That was over 10 years ago. But now, the only time I get in trouble for being trans is when I'm dumb enough to trust someone and tell them. It NEVER ends well for me.

What's worse is that, more often than not, it's not even because they hate trans people. It's because they know other people do, and they take advantage for their own selfish reasons that have nothing to do with their own ignorance, but that of others. When I worked as a DJ, I would get hit on all the time. I told ONE girl what my situation was and then in the following weeks, one-by-one, the boys started dropping like flies until there was literally nobody left at my shows. It was always innocent and I never propositioned anyone for sex or anything like that. It was just the casual banter that comes with the job. But apparently, it was enough to make them run off in fear of their own sexuality.

And I'm just like: 'If you think I'm attractive, it's because you see a woman, not a vagina. You don't have to date me, but don't shun me. I didn't do anything wrong, so grow the fuck up!' LOL!

2 thoughts on “Give A Fuck About A Lifestyle

  1. First, let me say that you are an awesome woman. I find you totally engaging without the bullshit that comes with a LOT of those who call themselves Trans (hope that didn’t sound as jacked as it did, lol) Never-the-less, I must be from another planet or something because I find my attraction to (for lack of a better word) Trans-women to be the same as it was for cis-women. You are all women in my eyes, and I love and respect you all the same. My attraction is not based on sexuality, but on intelligence. As the sign said….. “I want “”SOUL””SEX….

  2. My dear friend,
    I love your story and as long as I’ve known you I never exactly knew your past. If you remember, the moment I met you I immediately gravitated towards you. That was because I sensed a higher evolved state than the other trans people that surrounded us at the time. I’ve learned a lot from you, and you have seen me from the beginning and to date I’ve done everything I could to follow my heart and true identity, with one more hurdle to go.
    You have definitely provided me with inspiration, which gave me courage to also say “fuck it”. I only wish I was strong enough to have started when I was younger. Additionally you were right about those who show resentment and those that hurt me the most were the ones closest to me and all but one have chosen to not to be active in my life. Its been well over a year and thier decision still hurts to this day.
    I think you know me well enough when I say that I don’t like to air my dirty laundry, but when I hear of successful transition stories with family and friends showing overwhelming approval, I dark jealous streak penetrates my soul then the pain begins all over again with the memory of those that turned their backs on me. I keep that pain down in my gut and smile a lot to hide it. Then I repeat this quote by Kurt Cobain that gets me through the day,

    “I’d rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not”

    So my message to all my family and friends who turned their backs on me….”GYF! Hope your homes burn down and you forget how to read!”

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